So... It's been awhile since my last post about Andy... And I promise that this will be my last sappy post for awhile, but Andy's passing has made me do a lot of life changing, rearranging, and thinking.
I've decided (as of last week) to drop my Pre-Vet focus. I'm now majoring in Music Education and Music Composition, with a minor in Music Technology.
It's a big change, and I'm still a little bit scared about making it because of the economy and job security and all the reasons that I DID Pre-Vet in the first place. I hate to admit that it took a close friend of mine passing to finally realize what I needed to do, but I like to think that it's just Andy nudging me in the right direction. He taught me that I may not have as much time left here as I think I do, and, as horrible as it is to think in those terms, I need to be prepared for anything. Which is why I decided to do what I love and stop wasting my time with things that won't make me happy.
I realize that I am extremely fortunate to have found something that I'm so passionate about at this young of an age. I realize that some people go lifetimes without ever finding such passions. And I feel that if I don't follow my passion, I'm throwing away a huge gift that God gave me, and in this life, there are really few worse mistakes than that. The greatest part about all of this is that as soon as I finally made the decision, a sense of rightness washed over me, and even though I'm still a bit scared, I feel truly happy with my choice. I hope to one day get my doctorate and become a professor, but I know now that while planning in advance is wise, to make my plans more flexible because life is full of twists and turns, and I need to be able to adjust.
I really do love making music though, and there is no greater feeling that I've experienced yet than finishing a piece, or hearing your music come to life by real musicians for the first time. It's a beautiful and terrifying experience, it makes you feel that you're putting a part of your heart into someone else's hands, but it's exhilarating all the same, and I know that these are moments that I can strive for every day of my life.
Thank you to all of the beautiful friends and family that I have in my life. I'm so blessed to be so loved. It truly awes and humbles me that I have so many people who care about me, and I can't believe how lucky I am.
Andy, thank you for being a guardian angel for me and watching out for me up there. You've made my belief in heaven stronger, because I know that there's no way there isn't another life after this, since I could feel you watching over me these past two weeks. Time heals wounds, sure, but I miss you like crazy, big guy. And I have the feeling that your incredibly large handprint will forever have a place on my soul. Thanks for watching out for me, even when I can't see you.
I'm pretty sure I've posted this song on a previous post, but the lyrics are so relevant to everything I've written that I can't help but share it again. The song is called Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise by the Avett Brothers, and it's super appropriate and uplifting.