The Ink is Never Dry

Hello friends,

I must admit, the crazy class schedule, the many sleepless nights, and the overall constant stress level wore me down a bit. I'm more ready than ever for this break.

But, holy crap. What a satisfying semester for me musically!

I'm still thinking of my education major as a fallback, but I'm a lot happier with this fallback than I was when I started it. I realize there's a lot more to education than most people ever think about in their lifetimes, and have a pretty general knowledge of what it takes to be a good teacher. But Holy applicable to what I want to do with my life, Batman! All of this has helped me look at music in a different way, and those skills classes where I have to learn all the instruments are DEFINITELY extremely helpful as a composer.

Speaking of composing, you know, the main reason I'm here and stuff, I'm very proud of the work that I've done. I still didn't get quite as much done as I wanted to because of the crazy class load, etc, but I still over quadrupled my output from this time last year, which is crazy. Not only have I quadrupled my output, but I feel that my writing from the beginning of my career here (crazy to think that it's only been a year and a half) has improved immensely. My music has more texture, more life, and clearly more musical knowledge in it than ever before. The leaps and bounds I've made getting to study under Dr. Lee are enormous, and I am so so blessed to have him as my professor. I feel that I still need to find some direction by picking what I'd like to compose for, but I can at least rest happy knowing that just because the quantity of the music I'm outputting has grown, the quality hasn't diminished at all. It's gotten better.

Every time someone performs my music, I am so immensely satisfied. Getting to hear it played by real musicians who put the emotions into your music that you wanted, and sometimes bringing it to life in ways you didn't think it could breathe and live, is just wonderful. The novelty of having it on paper has worn off a little bit, but it's still there when I stop and think about it. Which I usually don't, because once I finish one thing, I've been known to not even take a break and open up a new document to start on the next project. I feel that I can't contain all the ideas bouncing around in my head sometimes. Which is great, but, again, causes me to lose sleep a lot of the time.

The one thing I worry about a bit is that I might be pushing myself too hard sometimes, you know? This semester was my hardest semester of school yet (and that includes my first one where I was in marching band and doing pre-vet). All the sleepless nights have added up and really burned me out, and again, I cannot wait for this break to come. The worst part is, my semester next semester is looking even harder, with even fewer breaks and less sleep... Ugh. Oh well.

I mean, this may just be because I'm writing this at 3:45AM at the end of my Midnight-4am shift at work, and I'm thinking too much like I often do, but there are almost too many things I could do with my life, and I'm frightened because fewer things in this world scare me more than uncertainty. And thinking about my future, there's a lot of it. This is probably just me being a dork and overthinking it all, but I've always been the type of person who could spin a B+ on my high school transcript to possibly ending up homeless and destitute by age 40 (Yes, that really happened when I got my one and only grade below an A- in highschool, I was scared for weeks until I realized that the B+ was probably not going to make every future employer ever think I was a moron). The fact that I very well may not end up living in this country at the end of my schooling here at UNL scares me. The fact that I may end  up staying here in the U.S. and possibly missing out on opportunities abroad also scares me. If I choose the wrong thing for myself, will I miss the right one forever? Will I always be second-guessing the choices that I make from here on out? The thing is, I feel that there are quite a few things out there that could make me happy, but the idea of not having the right combination of them is frightening. How many first-world problems here does it take to add up to a real one? Jesus.

But that's why I have to keep writing, working my ass off, and trying to be the best musician I can possibly be. Because there's so much uncertainty in my future, the one thing I can hold on to is knowing that I will never look back and say "I wish I tried harder." I will at least have the strength of knowing that I am working as hard as I can, and am physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of working harder than I do. 

So wow, yeah, that post turned from happy to serious pretty quickly. Sorry about that. I usually don't let people see how I'm feeling. I don't like talking about feelings. Ick. But, it feels good to have that off my chest.

To lighten the gloominess of the end of this post, listen to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDnPS6VyBJE

It's called Waltz for Richard by First Aid Kit. They're a sister duo out of Sweden, and their music is absolutely beautiful and relaxing and wonderful.

But truthfully, the song that's capturing my mood best is this song called The Boxer. Originally Simon & Garfunkel, but this version is by Mumford and Sons. Listen to the lyrics and you'll see why. And hell, just the music, it's perfect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAl-vZsswb4

Oh, as for everyday things, I had over 6 finals last week, on dead week (don't even get me started on how dumb I think that is), and only have one this upcoming week. It's a big one, but I can (hopefully) handle it with little stress. Also, I work until Saturday, will probably spend the night in Lincoln, and come back home to Columbus on Sunday. But the beautiful thing is, I'm not OBLIGATED to come back to Lincoln until January 4th. I mean, let's be real, I probably will, but the point is I don't HAVE to (except for to do schoolwork, which I will because I am so horribly lazy when I enter Columbus city limits).

Also, I've been SLEEPING this weekend. I've gotten almost 7 hours each night! It feels amazing. So I have that to be thankful for, too. :)

Alright, I'm rambling now, time to cut this off.

Cheers,

Gilmore

ALSO, SHAMELESS PLUG: I now have stuff on my SoundCloud and you should listen to it. Available for free downloads yadayada. Russia, Switzerland, Mexico, and Pakistan have apparently already been enjoying my music.

https://soundcloud.com/caitlingilmoremusic

Life.

Hey everyone!

I'm alive! I've just been really really busy and doing a poor job of keeping people updated on things.

Let's walk through a typical day in the life of Caitlin Gilmore, so you can see how it is just NOT my fault that I haven't been posting anything at all lately...

My days/classes:

8:40am- Wake up, take a shower

9:30am- Class starts (either practicum on MWF or Keyboard Skills T/R)

11:30- Music Theory or Aural Skills

12:30- Flute/Clarinet skills or Digital Audio Recording

1:30- University Singers or Big Band

3:30(TR)- Studio until 4:30 every other week, lesson with Dr. Lee on the off week. Thursdays, Convocation at 3:30.

4:30 (MW)- Jazz Choir

5:30 (Every other Tuesday)- My lesson on the weeks I have studio.

I get done with class sometime between 6-6:30, either grab dinner (or don't) and either watch a faculty concert for convocation credit around 7:30pm, or practice flute/piano/saxophone for an hour or two.

And no, I do not have a single class outside of Westbrook Music Building this semester, and probably won't at all this year.

Get home sometime between 8pm-10pm. Eat dinner (since I usually don't have time to get dinner, and only have room in my lunchbox to pack lunch since I obviously don't have a lunch break there...)

Do homework/compose until 2am on a good night, but usually until 3am or later.

Do it all again.




Also, I'm helping start up a Co-Ed a capella group with a few of my buddies, so hopefully that gets off the ground and running. Rehearsals for that will probably be around 9pm.

Plus, I'm holding down a job. I actually enjoy it, especially the 4-8am shifts since it's just paid, uninterrupted homework time. Nobody ever comes down around then, so usually, I just get paid to sit at the desk and maybe say hello to 1 or 2 people. I work Monday mornings and every other Friday and Saturday. Sometimes I pick up extra shifts, but not usually because I'm already on the edge of overloading myself about 99% of the time.

As far as composing, I don't get to spend as much time doing that as I'd like to, but, I'm hoping I'll have time to just get ahead on everything and actually be productive during fall break... Even though that's always very difficult when I'm at home.

For those of you who keep asking, "Where are you finding all the motivation?" I keep telling myself "Get certified in all the things you can, because UNL is paying for most of it and it makes you more attractive for jobs and Grad school!" When that doesn't work, I use the standard "You can sleep when you're dead." Those have been my mantras to get me through everything the past few weeks.

So yeah. It's safe to say that I've been keeping pretty busy. I don't sleep much, and I'm usually fairly stressed out, but if I wasn't, I'd be doing something wrong as a music major. As awful as my schedule looks, I'm still extremely happy that I get to be doing what I love, and not paying UNL extravagant amounts of money to do so. I'm either in the right place or need to be institutionalized for being super overworked and still somehow enjoying myself, so I'm really hoping it's the former.

Also, for a person who never really liked coffee all that much, sophomore year of college has changed me. I'm slowly but steadily getting more addicted... I used to drink coffee maybe once a month, now it's closer to once a week. I know it still isn't that much by a lot of people's standards, but for someone with a low caffeine tolerance, it's making me sad that I actually think of coffee a lot, and would have it every day if I had time to get it.

Well, those are all the interesting things going on right now, I believe!

Song of the day:
Take a Walk by Passion Pit. It pumps me up when I need a nice little energy boost.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZX6Q-Bj_xg

With love,
Gilmore

Deux.

Bonjour mes amis!

It's been a really really long time since I last posted. I apologize. But, I would like to catch you all up on what's been going on since Middle School Band Camp!

So, I finished my summer classes with all A's, which was exciting. Gotta love having a high GPA to keep that Regents scholarship!

Sometime right before finals, I also had work training for my new job at the Harper/Schramm/Smith/Village night desk. I work 3-5 nights a week alternating weeks, but I'm hoping to cut that down to 1-3 when my boss hires more people. The job is great, I mostly work 4-8am and no one comes in, so I get to just sit there and catch up on homework/composing.

As for my classes now, they're going well so far in this first week. I had auditions all week and made it into every ensemble I tried out for which made me very happy!! I'm now an Alto I in Usingers, the lead vocalist for the UNL big band, and voice part undetermined for Jazz Choir as of now. I sang Soprano I last year, but that could change. I don't really care what voice part I sing for anything at this point, which is only helping to continue my vocal identity crisis that I've had since Junior year of high school.

Also, I'm learning how to play the flute. Learning that I'm not very good at it yet, but I guess we've only had 2 classes so that's ok. I found out that I really hate the fingerings from D to C on the flute, because they're the exact opposite of each other so I'm really going to have to practice later today after my work meeting at 7.

I've also figured out that life is a million times busier as a Music Ed major/Tech minor than just a performance major. Holy crap. I start at 9:30 every day and don't get to leave the building until 4-5 most days, and no lunch break. I went to the store this weekend and bought bread, peanut butter, and nutella for my locker so I can squeeze in lunch in the 10 minutes I have between classes. But, I would much rather be busy because I got into everything I wanted to be in than bored because I didn't, so at least I'm in a good place for that stuff.

As for what I'm working on compositionally, I'm arranging a chart to sing with for the UNL Big Band (It's my first jazz chart so I'm excited) at a later date. I also was hired to arrange an entire show for Minden High School's show choir, so this will mark my first show choir experience and first legitimate commission! As for semester projects, I'm writing an original flute and piano piece, and an original piano trio.

So that's the last few weeks in a nutshell. Sorry for taking so long to post!

Song of the day:
Free by Graffiti6. They're a really feel-good band out of the UK, and I love them like crazy. The music video cuts 45 seconds out of the song, but it's still wonderful regardless. Spotify the whole thing if you like it. (: Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FObmcZnoKM

Cheers,
Gilmore

"This one time at band camp..." and other adventures.

Hello everyone!

Sorry for taking so long between this post and my last one! 

This last week, I was camp counseling for the UNL Middle School band camp. It was a ton of fun, and it makes me happy to see how so many kids are excited about music. My duties included teaching a saxophone masterclass (with my good friend Michael), and teaching an elements class, which was basically a composition class. Also, I herded campers to where they needed to be, and stayed at the dorms to supervise them overnight. It was great seeing how vastly the kids improved playing their instruments in the short time we had, and how creative my elements class was, since they wrote 3 lines of music that were put on the final concert!

Plus, we had a ton of fun doing other stuff too... We threw a dance for the middle schoolers, and Michael and I got to play match-maker, and I attended my first middle-school dance (which, by the way, thanks to my fellow counselors, I had more fun at than almost all of my high school dances put together). We also played late-night sand volleyball against the counselors of the high school marching camp that was going on at the same time, and beat them for the first time in at least 4 years. It was also hilarious that the kids thought our fake lives were more interesting than our real ones, and by fake lives, they kept pairing the counselors off as boyfriend/girlfriend, or saying we were married to each other. I was either married to Michael by the end of the week or was his "Other woman" because he was married to one of the other counselors first. More embarrassingly, Michael and I somehow got coerced into playing some pop songs for the kids, and there are quite a few middle schoolers walking around with our voices as their ringtones. But, it was a really really great time, and I hope I get to do it again next year!

After all this madness, my cousin Jasmine came and visited me for a few days from Texas. It was super amazing, since I hadn't seen her in over a year in a half. We played music, hung out, and had fun until she left this afternoon. It was so good to see her and my Aunt Jean again this week, and it was a fantastic end to an amazing (and tiring) week. 

As for how I'm doing in general, I'm fine. I finished my last 2 summer classes with A's, and started a new one when camp started, which is Philosophy 106. And, by the way, my teacher is absolutely HILARIOUS. She's very intelligent and interesting, and oh my gosh, her one-liners and examples and stories during class don't make those 4 hour lectures seem bad at all. 

Musically, I'm in a jazz-indie band called Wind Armada that my counselor buddy from UNL high school jazz camp (Andrew Janak) invited me to be in, and, I gotta say, I'm really excited about how awesome of a group we have. The other guys (Drew, Kevin, Mike, and Michael) are just beyond talented, and I'm super lucky to get the chance to work with them. I mean, we're even doing a chart called "Great Lol of China." Just saying, we're awesome and funny and cool. No big deal. 

Also, I'm working on writing music. So many projects going on right now that I think I might explode, and I really hope I can get them done by the school year because once again, I way overloaded myself on how much stuff I need to write. But, hopefully hopefully hopefully I'll have more time to be composing because I'm only taking one class now instead of two.

ONE MORE THING: I'm tutoring people for ACT English and Reading. Also, giving composition lessons, vocal jazz lessons, beginning piano lessons, tutoring elementary school kids... Actually, a better question would be what I'm NOT certified to tutor in right now. Sorry for the shameless plugs, but I just dropped a hefty amount of money on a microphone and other music-related things, and my bank account is definitely feeling it!

Anyway, the song of the day is called Star Scat by Caravan Palace. They're a gypsy electronic jazz group out of Paris, and their charts are SICK. Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eyGw2Ts4qY

Thanks for reading this very long post! Cheers, everyone!
Love,

Gilmore

Jayuzzzzz.

Well hey there, everyone!

As some of you know, I just got done camp counseling for the UNL High School Jazz Band Camp on Thursday.

Camp started Sunday, the 17th, on Father's day. I was able to make it home for the weekend to see my parents and some of my friends to celebrate father's day and my birthday, and was at Harper residence hall at 8am sharp, ready to move in and work with the campers. The first day was a lot of auditions for combo placement, followed by a jazz movie called Jazz on a Summer's Day later that night. If you're a jazzer and haven't seen it, I suggest you do. It has a lot of outstanding performances from a lot of the greats, and I'm sure all you cats would appreciate it. (:

Monday-Wednesday was a lot more of the same, shepherding students from place to place, making sure everyone was where they needed to be. There was jazz listening, jazz theory/arranging, combo practice, improvisation class, and a lot more for the kids to do. We got great seats at Jazz in June on Tuesday of camp, and my birthday passed on Wednesday with a lot of the campers singing me happy birthday and whatnot. My job was pretty easy, out of the 29 students, only 3 were female, and since I stayed on the same floor as the girls, all I had to do was knock on doors at 10:30 to make sure they were in bed, which was a much easier time than the men had. My friends took me out on Thursday night to celebrate my birthday a little late, so the celebration of me turning 19 wasn't a wash or anything. All in all, last week was a great week, full of great music, and a lot of great strengthening and starting of new friendships among my colleagues and fellow musicians in Westbrook Music Building. The greatest part about this camp was definitely the privilege of working with some amazing faculty and my 3 awesome fellow counselors. (:

BY THE WAY, look out for this new group I'm going to be in around the Omaha and Lincoln area, folks! We're called Wind Armada, and were formed by my fellow counselor Andrew Janak, who is a killer saxophonist. It's going to be great, we're doing jazz/indie-ish music, and it'll be really freaking sweet.

As for how classes and things have been going, it's all fine, I just can't wait for July and a lighter workload, and Middle School Band Camp! I know that camp is exhausting and a lot of work, but it's really great seeing young kids so excited about music, and watching talent develop. (:

Song of the day: Tea for Two, the Anita O'day version. This is from that Jazz Video I was watching, and I want to do a transcription of it. Her version is seriously SICK. You don't have to like jazz to love this. Promise. It's also on Spotify!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTk0pk6cFhE

Cheers,
Gilmore

C'est la vie.

Hey there, friend;

Well, a good starting point would probably be the fact that I am no longer in Columbus for the summer. That's right folks, I'm back in Lincoln-land. My time at home was very refreshing and was a much-needed break, and I'm raring to put my nose back to the grindstone. Or at least, I keep telling myself that. 

Some answers to a few FAQs I've been getting lately:

Q: Where are you living?

A: Well, I'm not going to disclose the EXACT details on the internet, thank you very much, but, I'm in an apartment for just the summer. I'm living with a friend and her two roommates, and I'm taking someone's lease for June-July so I can have a place to live during summer school. I'm moving back to campus with a good friend of mine from high school come fall. 

Q: When did you move back to Lincoln?

A: Friday, June 1st. 

Q: What classes are you taking?

A: Comm 109 and Food Science (online) during the merry month of June, and Philosophy 106 during July. This is to fill my ACE requirements that aren't being covered by my majors.

For all the people not familiar with UNL lingo:

Comm 109- A speech class. I apparently need to this to fill some sort of requirement, despite my 4 years of speech team experience in high school. Well, technically, it's "communications," not speech, but whatever. 

Food Science- A science class. It's pretty easy since I've been pretty good about doing all the work when I can. My first test for this 'un is on Wednesday. 

Philosophy 106- Current issues Philosophy. It only meets 2 nights per week in July, but that means only 8 classes until the final. I'm excited for it regardless, I'm taking it with my roommate. 

ACE requirement- Known everywhere else in the whole entire world except UNL as "Gen-eds." 

Q: Are you working/Do you have a job this summer?

A: Yes and no. I unfortunately do not have a steady part-time job for the summer (which is looking like it's a good thing since my workload is surprisingly copious), BUT, I was hired to work for the UNL High School Jazz Camp (position and actual work I'll be doing unknown) as the only female counselor, and the UNL Middle School Band Camp (on saxophone). They're both about a week in duration and they both agreed to work around my classes, so I'm super excited for them! As Music Education/Composition, I'm hoping grad schools, etc., will eat this resumé booster right up... Plus, I'm super excited to work with these kids, AND I get paid. It'll be glorious, I hope.

ALSO, I am tutoring people over the summer. I have a job tutoring a girl in Norfolk in ACT English and Reading, and I'm doing things like giving music lessons, tutoring, etc., throughout the summer for those who want them. Especially ACT stuff and lessons. Sorry for the shameless plug. 

As for how I'm enjoying the new apartment, it's fine. It's kind of an adjustment not having my mom make me delicious food and having to fend for myself as far as cooking goes. Don't worry, it isn't like I'm sitting here starving or anything. No child of Joy Gilmore has an inability to cook for themselves, rest assured. I have a huge bathroom all to myself, and a lot of closet space. If I could change anything about my bedroom, I'd have a larger desk. It's only 2 months though, so I'll be ok. HOWEVER, it seems that some boys upstairs have (hopefully HAD after today) bedbugs, so they kicked us out for 2 hours (luckily the 2 hours that I happen to be in class so it was no big deal), but it was still very annoying that they were knocking at our front door whilst I was in the shower. 

As for classes, those are fine too. It's a lot of busy work but nothing super mentally taxing. I'm slowly getting into a composing schedule again. I'm also trying to work in a work out schedule (see what I did there?), and hope that motivation will come once I'm truly settled in here. There's still some unpacking that needs to be done. 

ALSO, I plan on going home not this weekend, but the next. I probably would have gone back to Columbus this weekend, but I was hired to play piano for a wedding in Omaha on Saturday, so I can't really justify the trip. 

I guess I kind of miss being at home, I mean, it IS summer and all, but for some reason, I am very unproductive at my house. Or in Columbus. I mean, it isn't like there's a whole bunch to do there, but I just get lazy when I go home. Hopefully these classes will give me a routine so I can kick things like composing and working out and being a productive member of society in the butt. That is, if I can get un-addicted to this new TV show my roommate got me addicted to within 3 days of moving in.

I have decided that I don't mind cooking for myself, but... I HATE WASHING MY POTS AND PANS AND DISHES. Cleaning up after myself, after all these years, still remains my least favorite activity. Oh well. 

Song of the day in honor of the brand new blog layout/title:

Hallelujah. Originally written by Leonard Cohen, but this is the Jeff Buckley version. A very powerful song, with some of my most favorite lyrics of all-time ever. Which is exhibited by some of them making the new title of this here blog.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8AWFf7EAc4

Cheers,

Gilmore

Mile High City.

Ahoy, mateys!

I just got back from Denver, CO. Here was my extended Memorial Day weekend in review.

Thursday:

We left Nebraska at 10am, Central Time. We made one stop in Ogallala for some food at the Denny's there... And it just so happened that the only two people I know from Ogallala were working there! It was a magical happenstance, since I haven't seen them since I met them at All-State Jazz Choir last summer, so it was really cool to catch up. There's a picture on Facebook.

We arrived in beautiful Denver at 5:30, Mountain Time, to 68 degrees and sunny weather. We made reservations at Maggiano's (which I'm now finding out Omaha has, too) in Englewood, and had a lovely dinner around 7:30. And by lovely, I mean gorging on fantastic Italian food. It was delicious. We came back to our hotel and enjoyed our fantastic lodgings.

A word about said lodgings, my mom managed to get us a hotel room with a living room, 2 bedrooms, 2 bath, a full size fridge, and a kitchen. For 50 dollars. Total. For four days. Needless to say, it was nice to stay in such luxury for so stinkin' cheap.

After that, we were all pretty tired from driving and full bellies, so we went to bed.

Friday:

We woke up around 9 and went to a golf store with my brother and dad, where we also bought dad's birthday gifts. Then, we went back to the hotel, and tried to decide what to do... Then came up with Six Flags and shopping! I got to fall from about 200 feet in a harness which was pretty cool. Then we went downtown and did some shopping, so now I'm even more broke after a trip to H&M, my favorite clothing store. Oh well, it was very worth it. After a long day, we went back to the hotel, watched TV, and spent a relaxing night bumming around. It was fantastic.

Saturday:

This was May 26th, my Dad's 54th birthday. So another belated happy birthday, Dad! We went whitewater rafting, and my mom almost sunk the boat after we hit this huge rock in the river... Whoops. It was pretty funny though. After that, my dad, brother, and I went ziplining. Seriously one of the most awesome experiences of my life, and, to have a dad who goes ziplining when he turns 54 is pretty awesome. He was the oldest guy in our group, but that's ok.

After that, we went to a sushi place (his, my mom's, and my favorite food) called Sushi Den. We pigged out on some of the best sushi any of us have ever eaten, with great service from a waiter named Joe who looked like my uncle Joe, which was pretty funny.

We dropped the boys off at the hotel and my mom and I made a quick hour-long trip to the HUGE Ikea next to our hotel, where I got a coffee table for my dorm, a floor lamp, etc etc...

That night, we played a competitive but friendly game of pitch, our favorite card game. We played 7 and 10 point until past midnight, then went to bed. This was probably my favorite day of the whole trip.

Sunday:
Our last day in the Mile High City. We slept in and saw Dark Shadows around 2, which I really enjoyed (mostly because I love Tim Burton), then dropped my dad off at the hotel since he wanted a nap. My brother, mom, and I returned to Ikea (making it my second time ever being there), and I got more room/college stuff, which was awesome. We had Bdubs for dinner, and watched a Criminal Minds marathon until we fell asleep.

Monday:
Got up at 10am Mountain time, had an uneventful drive home, and arrived in Columbus around 6pm Central time. We were all family-ed out, so I spent the night out with some of my best friends. We were all pretty tired though, and threw in the towel around 1am instead of staying out at all hours like we usually do when we're together.

So there you have it! The chronicles of our family vacation to Denver. I'd go again in a heartbeat, it was a great time.

Song of the day:
And it Spread by The Avett Brothers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gj54C_CWx5w

Thanks for reading!
With love,
Gilmore

"And the living is easy."

Hey there, readers!

Summertime is here for UNL students. I've been out of school for awhile now, and it feels pretty fantastic. I already miss a lot of my school friends, but it's been really nice to be home in Columbus and catch up with all the people here. I'm pretty sure I've slept more in the past few weeks than I did for the entire month of November, and it feels really good. It's been refreshing being at home, and I'm not quite ready for that time to end yet.

As far as how school ended this past semester, it ended really really well. I got all A's (and an A- in my class worth the most credit, Music Theory -_-), so I had a semester GPA of a 3.9. This means my overall GPA is a 3.78 right now, which feels pretty good. Yay for keeping my Regents Scholarship!

I've been taking a short break from composing, which will actually probably end right after this blog post is sent to the world wide web, so I wouldn't get burned out and so I could give myself time to miss it. And I have been missing it, so, mission accomplished.

I've still been keeping busy doing music stuff, I'm starting a band for gigging and for fun with my buddies Michael Nguyen and Mitch Benson, and we've got a sample CD in the works. We're also working on a band name, and I'll let you all know as soon as that happens.

For those of you who haven't heard, I managed to get hired for two counseling positions this summer, one for the UNL high school jazz camp, and also for the UNL middle school band camp. This is a super huge blessing, especially since I'm Music Education now, and I'm really excited to work with these kids!

Oh, AND I got hired to work the night desk at The Village next year, and my future roommate, Sarah Ebner, got hired at the day desk, so it'll be a really fun time. I figure since I'm always awake, I might as well get paid to stay up and do homework. Plus, I actually live in The Village next year so I can just walk downstairs to my job, which is super convenient.

For those of you who don't know, I move back to Lincoln on June 1st because I'm taking summer classes (I actually want to try and be done in less than 5 years). Unfortunately, I've been having problems finding a part-time summer job, but this might be a blessing in disguise since my summer keeps looking busier and busier. Plus, the counseling jobs will get me a bit of money and be great for resumé boosting and whatnot, and my job during the school year will also aid in making me less broke. In other words, Columbus people, if you'd like to hang out with me, now is the time. We don't have all summer, unfortunately. Lincoln people, be excited! A lot of my summer will be spent with you.

I'm not gonna lie, these last few weeks have been really really lazy for me in comparison to the normal flurry of activity that seems to surround me, and I think it's just the thing I needed after this crazy school year. Summer has been really fantastic so far, I'm not ready for it to end at all. :)

Thanks for reading, I love you all!

Today's song of the day is a great one by a folk-duo called The Civil Wars. The song is entitled "Barton Hollow," and it's a good listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrOUwbsy12E

Cheers,
Gilmore

Let it Be.

Hey everyone!

So yeah, here's that post I promised on my religious beliefs, for those of you who were curious after the last one. I'm definitely not trying to convert people or anything, because I know everybody is going to be as set in their ways as I am. I'm just explaining my position here, since people were curious. So without further ado...

 John Lennon said it a lot better than I ever could:

"I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong." 

I mean, for me, religion itself is a flawed concept. I'm still sticking with my concept of God that I was raised with, and I still pray to the big man upstairs and still have belief, but I just have a really hard time with religion. The main problem that I have with organized religion is that it is created by man. Not God. It's inspired by God, sure, but not created by Him. And since religion is created by man, who is flawed, there are flaws in religion. I have no problem with people who go to church and follow the bible (a book people forget is written by man, inspired by God), but I'm just not one of them. I'd rather take my faith directly to whatever divine entity there is, and let it be flawed in my own way instead of someone else's.

My reasoning for not basing my personal belief system on organized religion or religious texts is what I said earlier, they're inspired by God, not created by him. I have a hard time thinking that the men writing these things down didn't put some of their own opinions in the text, like the whole gay marriage thing, but I digress. Also, religious texts can be perverted to be an excuse for a lot of wrongs and evils in the world, so you could find examples to justify most bad things. I mean, in the bible, the 10 commandments were created by God. Ok, I'm alright with those. I'm not exactly following the one about the sabbath, but I think the rest of them definitely make a lot of sense. I see it as a more specific version of the commanding right and forbidding wrong doctrine in the Qur'ran. The translation goes something like this:

"And the faithful men, and the faithful women are friends one to another: They command that which is just, and they forbid that which is evil; and they are constant at prayer, and pay their appointed alms; and they obey God, and his apostle: Unto these will God be Merciful; for He is Mighty and Wise."--Sura 9.71

Huh, funny that people think that Islam and Christianity aren't all that similar. I think the core tenets are basically the same. What is right and wrong is pretty much agreed upon (Killing people is bad. Stealing is bad. etc etc etc.), except Islam requires a lot more devotion and praying than a lot of the different versions of Christianity do.

Another thing that makes me pretty unhappy is when people like to think their religion is the most correct, when really, they don't take the time to find out about what else is out there. And the reason I'm pointing out the differences and similarities between those two religions is that Muslims seem to be getting a lot of flack in the U.S. for a certain group of crazies (let's call them Al Qaeda) who decided to go and ruin the reputation for all the peaceable, awesome, hard-working Muslim citizens in our country. It really saddens me to see how many people just stereotype them as a whole nowadays, and how some of my friends get ridiculous extra "attention" at airport security, even though they've been citizens here their whole lives and are just as patriotic as the next guy. Just because of the way they dress, their last names, their freaking skin color. Aren't we supposed to be past stereotyping and flat-out racism? It's ridiculous.

There it is, my reasoning for not practicing organized religion. It causes a lot of tension and arguments when really, people just have to learn to accept each other's beliefs and customs so we can get along better.

As for why I still believe in God or whoever is actually up there? I guess I can't imagine not believing there isn't something waiting on the other side. I mean, life is just too short here, we're bound to have other plans made for us after this. I personally think my form of heaven would be getting to see all those I love, and getting to meet a bunch of people I admire. Like Ella Fitzgerald. In my version of heaven, I'd be jammin' with the jazz greats every day. I'd meet composers like Beethoven and Mozart and see if ALL composers throughout the ages have a bunch of weird ones among them, too (they probably do, I mean, look at me. I happily admit that we composers are an odd bunch.). And not only that, but there are just too many good, beautiful, wonderful things in this world for there to not be a higher power. Music. Rain in the summertime. Sunsets and sunrises. Laughter. Family. Friends. Love.

Yes, I'm aware there are a lot of bad things in the world too, but, really, if you look around, it's pretty easy to see that the good really does outweigh the bad in most cases.

And hey, you know what? If there IS a God and you lived your life believing, congrats, extra kharma points in the afterlife or whatever to you! If there ISN'T a God? Well, hey, what did it hurt for you to believe if this is really just it? I mean, if there's nothing after this, you don't really have consequences for NOT believing, so it's kind of a win-neutral situation if you do believe, because believing probably isn't going to hurt anything.

Well, there you have it, my crazy little belief system that I'm not really sure falls into any category. I'd say deism mixed with optimism, maybe?


Song of the day:
Let it Be. Originally by the Beatles, but this cover from Across the Universe is pretty dang powerful, and since I used a John Lennon quote earlier, I thought it would be fitting. Watch this video with a kleenex box nearby...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4bib4PBqGA

Cheers.

With love,
Gilmore

Telling it Straight

Hey everyone,

Super serious post time again.

I realize that this one is going to step on some toes. Well, a lot of toes.
It'll probably make a lot of family members, friends in my hometown, and even quite a few passerby who happen to find their way to this page angry at me.

I assure you, this is not my intention, not in the slightest, but I feel like what I'm saying needs to be said, because there are some people I know (and some who don't) who have to know that there's support for them, someone who really cares.

This post is about Gay rights, and the reasoning for my position on them.

I was raised Roman Catholic all the way until about the middle of high school. My dad is a Methodist who doesn't ever go to church, and my mom is a practicing Catholic. I stopped going to church around my Junior year because there were a lot of things that I disagreed with, and found my own version of religion after that. For those of you who are interested in that, it'll be in the next post.

I am very FOR Gay rights, folks.

I'm sorry if this offends you, especially my family members who I know will wholeheartedly disapprove of this proclamation, but I feel that I'd rather have your disapproval than take away the chance of some person who needs these words to read what I have to say. In the age of the Facebook "share" button and lightning-speed communication, I realize that my words could change someone's life for the better.

Gay rights is the main reason I stopped going to church. There are a few other, more insignificant reasons, but without the whole gay rights disagreement, I'd probably still be a practicing Catholic because they aren't near enough to "quit" a religion I'd been raised in my whole life. During high school, when I met more gay people and ended up befriending quite a few of them through me being in Speech team/Music/Theatre (my family jokes that I'm friends with over half of the gay men in Nebraska), I decided that I couldn't go to a church and practice a belief system where I so strongly disagree with one of tenets that is so important to so many people.

I believe that homosexuality is NOT a sin, that Gays should have the right to be married and have children just like the rest of us, and that God loves everyone.

For those of you who truly think that "God Hates Fags" (Westboro followers and your like, I'm preaching to you here), did you hear that? GOD LOVES EVERYONE.

Does this really need to be explained? Everyone means EVERYONE. All the time. Love isn't just sometimes, folks, and everyone doesn't have an asterisk and a warning in fine print saying "Some restrictions apply." It's an unconditional, unbreakable contract that we have with the big guy upstairs, and it goes for all of us. Period.

Being Gay or Lesbian or Bisexual or a Transgender is NOT a choice. They're starting to get scientific proof in that direction.

The whole reason I'm even writing about this at all is because of a close friend of mine. You know who you are, and this is for you.

I have a very close friend who told me once that he wanted to kill himself for being gay and feeling the way he felt, because he knew his parents would never approve, and maybe even disown him. I'm one of the only people who knows his secret, but he agreed to let me use his words as long as I didn't use his name.

He told me that there was no reason he would ever choose to be in the one group of American citizens that didn't have all their rights, and that he would never wish this on anyone. Ever. He told me that being gay was the worst thing that had ever happened to him, and he wishes every day that he could change this part of himself.

Why should he have to feel that way? Why should anybody have to feel that way? To feel like they have to keep such a large part of their identity secret? That if they love someone, their love is somehow not as valid as mine, just because I'm straight?

That is wrong to me. So wrong. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever known, and if this is a universe where someone's love truly doesn't mean as much as mine, that's just horribly twisted.

I just want to say I'm sorry to all of the Gays who have ever been discriminated against or treated badly just because you decided to show people who you really are, and take the risk of letting people know what kind of person you're looking for. I want to let you know that there are a lot less bigoted, small-minded people out there than you think, and a lot of us feel that what you're going through just to have the basic human emotion of love validated in the eyes of the government and of others is ridiculous.

I want to say sorry to all the Gays who feel like they can't let anybody know who they really are because they feel unsafe or that no one will love them if they do so.

I want to say sorry to all the Gays who read this post because I feel like I can't ever apologize enough to you for what you're going through, and because I can't relate. I'm so sorry that these are battles that will sometimes have to be fought on your own. I'm so sorry that I can't give each and every one of you a hug and tell you that you're beautiful for who you are, and that it doesn't matter one little bit who you love.

I feel like the war against discrimination is just getting too long. It needs to end. People need to learn how to love each other, and be ok with other peoples' life choices. I feel that if you disagree with Gays getting married, fine, but don't try to take away their rights because this is supposed to be a non-secular government. We did it to women and minorities, and now we've found another group that people dislike because they're "different." This is really just ludicrous to me, especially since this is supposed to be the land of the free.

I'm sorry to everyone I've offended, but this message is just so much more important to me than peoples' opinions of me, and I won't take it back.

I feel that this song, "Hold on to What You Believe" by Mumford & Sons says it a lot better than I can. It's much more eloquent, and the words and music are just beautiful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VI8-6aXsFA

With love,

Gilmore

Livin' La Vida Loca.

Hi there, oh surfer of the internet!

For all of you who've been wondering how I'm doing, I've been just dandy. A little more sleep would be nice, but, I'm none the worse for wear.

So, for those who have been wondering how it was and what I was up to over spring break (even though it's a week late), here it is.

I went four-wheeling with two of my best friends in Nebraska National Forest. It was fantastic. The forest was beautiful, as were the wonderful young women I got to go with. We had a campfire (which is the best way to cook food), went hot-tubbing, had a picnic near the river, parked a trailer poorly numerous times,  got wind-burned, used some sketchy port-a-potties, ate way too much junk food, and enjoyed our time together with very poor cell phone reception. There are pictures on Facebook.

That's pretty much it.



My life has been pretty cool lately though, I wrote my first small orchestral score and sequenced it all by myself earlier this week for filmscoring, and my professor liked it enough that he didn't make me do any revisions, which is really rare for that class.

I'm also writing a huge orchestral filmscore for one of the student films at the film school here. I really like that we get to collaborate on things like this with other programs and majors, especially since I know that most schools don't have anything similar to this type of collaboration between programs and classes at all. The film that I'm scoring is a comedy, it'll be pretty slapstick and 50's-esque, and I'm really excited to work on it.

Also, from that class, I just did a recording session for one of my previous scores for piano trio. For my non-music major friends, a piano trio is a piano, a violin, and cello. The instrumentalists were AMAZING. They sightread all four of our scores in less than 3 hours, and just nailed it. The digital/audio recording class recorded it for us, so it should be really high quality, and I'm pretty excited to add it to my portfolio.

AND, I'm getting really really close to completely finishing the trombone duet I'm working on, and I should be able to finish my string bass/piano duet within the next few weeks. Which is super exciting, I cut it pretty close with finishing my project last semester, so I'm hoping these projects will be done well before the semester ends so I can get feedback on whatever I decide to work on next. We'll see how that all works out though. Between my projects and filmscoring, I'll have written probably 4x more music than I wrote last semester at the very least, so I'm really glad that I'm getting faster and more productive. Plus, it teaches me how to work on more than one piece of music at once; a necessity in the real world of composers when people actually start hiring you for stuff. This all means that I just seem to keep getting busier and busier, but, hey, a busy musician is always a lot happier than one who has no work, projects, and nothing to do.

By the way, this could possibly be my last post from my current laptop. I finally caved and got a Mac. My mom found one for rather cheap, and I'm extremely excited, because I can go buy cool programs like Logic and whatnot that aren't available for PC. What makes me really excited about this is that I'll be able to do some sequencing stuff from the comfort of my dorm room, and I can continue doing student films with it (hopefully) even when my filmscoring class ends at the end of the semester so I can add cool things like that to my portfolio, too. Plus, I have 2 years to pay it off without interest, and am hoping to pay it off by the end of the summer since I'll be working. So, yeah, I'm a pretty happy camper right now. I got the insurance on it that'll even cover a nuclear bomb hitting my computer, so, no matter what I do to it, it should be OK even in my technologically incapable hands.

What I'm getting at with all of this is: Holy crud, I have so many awesome opportunities here that I don't even know what to do with myself. I mean, I know it's a lot of work, and yeah, I don't get paid... BUT, when people keep telling me not to write all this music for free, I feel like I'm really getting a lot out of it. At the very least, I get to add a new original score to my portfolio (which, by the way, having a large, diverse portfolio tends to make grad schools and future employers happy) and at the very most, I sometimes get really awesome, high-quality recordings from some of my fellow awesome, high-quality musicians, and they do that for free for me, too. It's really a win-win.

Plus, I get to write music, which is the greatest gift of all of this. It's just so darn fun sometimes, especially when I'm inspired, and getting to be in an environment where people are willing to bring it to life for me is stinkin' awesome.

I mean, I know this is what undergraduate is for, but, I really don't know what I'm going to end up focusing on compositionally. I really like jazz, performing jazz, and writing for it, so that would be a really cool option... But I've fallen so completely in love with this filmscoring thing, that part of me wants to move to L.A. when I'm done with this and try to make it there. Another part of me wants to go on to get my masters somewhere in Europe (probably the U.K.) and write for orchestra, because I've had a lot of fun writing for it lately. There's a whole bunch of stuff that I'm still interested in, so, I'm just having a hard time deciding what to do. But, hey, I still have a few more years, and I might find something else really cool which will make my decision harder, or I might actually make up my mind. Who knows? It's all part of the adventure, and part of the reason I think composing is so cool. The options are just completely limitless.

So, there it is, my life for the past few weeks. It's been going pretty great, and I'm going to get some sleep now because I don't really do enough of that.

Goodnight!

With love,
Gilmore

P.S. Today's song of the day is...

Below my Feet by Mumford and Sons. It isn't on any of their current albums, but it's super beautiful and I just recently finished arranging a cover to it that I have a lot of fun doing. The link below is to the best  version I could find. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHnGJvYmQKg

Epiphanies.

Hi everybody,

So... It's been awhile since my last post about Andy... And I promise that this will be my last sappy post for awhile, but Andy's passing has made me do a lot of life changing, rearranging, and thinking.

I've decided (as of last week) to drop my Pre-Vet focus. I'm now majoring in Music Education and Music Composition, with a minor in Music Technology. 

It's a big change, and I'm still a little bit scared about making it because of the economy and job security and all the reasons that I DID Pre-Vet in the first place. I hate to admit that it took a close friend of mine passing to finally realize what I needed to do, but I like to think that it's just Andy nudging me in the right direction. He taught me that I may not have as much time left here as I think I do, and, as horrible as it is to think in those terms, I need to be prepared for anything. Which is why I decided to do what I love and stop wasting my time with things that won't make me happy. 

I realize that I am extremely fortunate to have found something that I'm so passionate about at this young of an age. I realize that some people go lifetimes without ever finding such passions. And I feel that if I don't follow my passion, I'm throwing away a huge gift that God gave me, and in this life, there are really few worse mistakes than that. The greatest part about all of this is that as soon as I finally made the decision, a sense of rightness washed over me, and even though I'm still a bit scared, I feel truly happy with my choice. I hope to one day get my doctorate and become a professor, but I know now that while planning in advance is wise, to make my plans more flexible because life is full of twists and turns, and I need to be able to adjust. 

I really do love making music though, and there is no greater feeling that I've experienced yet than finishing a piece, or hearing your music come to life by real musicians for the first time. It's a beautiful and terrifying experience, it makes you feel that you're putting a part of your heart into someone else's hands, but it's exhilarating all the same, and I know that these are moments that I can strive for every day of my life.

Thank you to all of the beautiful friends and family that I have in my life. I'm so blessed to be so loved. It truly awes and humbles me that I have so many people who care about me, and I can't believe how lucky I am. 

Andy, thank you for being a guardian angel for me and watching out for me up there. You've made my belief in heaven stronger, because I know that there's no way there isn't another life after this, since I could feel you watching over me these past two weeks. Time heals wounds, sure, but I miss you like crazy, big guy. And I have the feeling that your incredibly large handprint will forever have a place on my soul. Thanks for watching out for me, even when I can't see you. 

I'm pretty sure I've posted this song on a previous post, but the lyrics are so relevant to everything I've written that I can't help but share it again. The song is called Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise by the Avett Brothers, and it's super appropriate and uplifting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t43VgJ4U9_Q&ob=av3n

With love,

Gilmore

For Andy.

Hey everyone,
Today, I lost a great friend, a guy who looked out for me like I was his little sister, and my favorite grizzly bear. His name was Andy Krueger. He was only 22 for a month when he died today of a massive heart attack that he suffered 3 days ago. I love him like crazy, miss him terribly, and I just want to write a few words in memoriam of this great friend of mine.


I knew about Andy from the very beginning of band camp. He was pretty hard to miss. He was that 6"8 guy who played the piccolo. Yes, I said piccolo. Not tuba. Piccolo. Everybody knew him not only for his commanding physical presence, but for the happiness and joy in life he radiated everywhere he went. I didn't actually talk to him until a few days into band camp when we started charting pre-game (we ran onto the field from the same tunnel), and we became friends.


Every once in awhile (at least 3 times a month), we would get lunch together. As a composer, I have some emotional, tired days. As a composer in marching band, I had a LOT more ridiculously tired days than usual. But every time I would go to band tired, dejected, sick of the horrible weather, or otherwise finding many reasons for not wanting to be there, seeing Andy ALWAYS brightened my day. He knew just how to make me smile and see the positive side of things, would call me out on my crazier moments, and was overall just a fantastic friend.


It's rare to find a person where every single memory that you share with them is a positive one, but, guess what? Every moment I was privileged to spend with Andy was not only "ok", but actually GOOD. Whenever I wanted to complain about how busy my life was, he'd listen, make some joke about me being crazy (these jokes were pretty common), we'd laugh it off, and I'd leave every one of those little conversations feeling completely satisfied without needing to "vent" all of my anger away.


There were also the short jokes. So. Many. Short. Jokes. But, at 5"1, you don't argue your stature with the guy who is 6"8. Just saying. You also may wonder why exactly I called him "my favorite grizzly bear" earlier. This all started when for some reason, I would poke Andy every time I saw him. Like a hibernating bear, you also didn't know how he'd react to this. Sometimes, he'd just poke you back. Sometimes, he'd ignore you. Sometimes, he'd tickle you until your sides hurt. Or, occasionally, he might chase you down, pick you up, throw you over his shoulder and carry you a good distance across campus so you could get stared at by a lot of strangers. Not, like, I'd KNOW about that or anything, I mean, it isn't like it ever happened to me... *cough*


I have one very specific favorite memory that I'd like to share, which will probably cheer you guys up.

The Cornhusker Marching Band traveled with the football team to Orlando, Florida over New Year's. During that time, we marched in a parade. Before the parade, we had a couple hours of down time, hanging out in our uniforms. I was meandering around, talking to people, when, I saw a couple of taller guys (all 6 feet tall and above) running at Andy and chest-bumping him.

Ok, so, I realize I'm one of the shortest people in the whole band, but, for some reason, instead of amusement at these antics, I felt a rather unexpected emotion... Jealousy. Yup. That's right. I decided that I was going to chest bump Andy.

When I offered the challenge, his eyes bugged out a bit and he went, "Caitlin, you have to be kidding me. I'll squish you."

I replied, "No way, dude. I got it. Come at me, bro!" (I also pounded my chest in a very "come at me bro" way, which, let's be honest, was probably just funny and wasn't doing much to intimidate anyone.)

So... The first time, I ran at him and he stood still. I managed to fly about 4 feet back, but I still landed on my feet. Idiot that I am, I felt cheated, so, I told Andy that he had to run at me like he did at the other guys. Andy reluctantly agreed... And I ended up flying pretty high in the air, I would say that my feet were about 3-4 feet above the ground, easily. But, because Andy was always looking out for me, he caught me before I could fall flat on my butt and injure my tailbone before the parade. Because, even though I was being ridiculous, he not only put up with my antics, he saved me from injuring myself by them. We also did this while we were in Universal Studios, out of uniform, but, that time wasn't as completely silly as the first two times. Well, ok, it was still completely silly, but stupid things always seem to look stupider and funnier in a marching band uniform. There IS however, a video of the third chest bump on Facebook, if you'd like a chuckle.



I'm getting off topic. The point is, that's who Andy WAS. A really silly, awesome, hilarious guy who always made you happy, and in the end, you knew would always be there for you. No questions asked. He was wonderful. And every memory I have with him is wonderful. And I'll cherish every single moment I got to spend with him this year. In the short time I knew him, he made an impact on me that'll last forever, unlike a possible bruise from the chest-bumping that went away relatively quickly.



I feel like I'm not saying enough, not nearly enough to honor him, because there are just too many great things to honor and remember about Andy Krueger. But, I'm doing my damnedest to let all of you know, even those of you who didn't know Andy very well or at all, that the world lost one of the best human beings I've ever had the honor to call my friend.


Andy, this last part is just for you.

You were such a good friend to me. Your life and passing has taught me to cherish every moment even more, work harder, choose to have a positive attitude always, and to love. Not like I've been loving, but to love the world and everyone in it with every fiber of my being, and when I get hurt, to take it all in stride. The most important thing you taught me is this: Never lose sight of all the beauty that is in the world and its people. For God's sake, this is the best lesson ever as a composer, and as a person. If I can remember this simple thing, I'll have you to thank for truly unlimited inspiration.
Heaven got really lucky today, they get to keep one of the biggest, best, most beautiful souls of anyone I've ever known.
God, take Andy Krueger into your arms. He deserves nothing less. And, go ahead and give him a huge bear hug, so he can know what it feels like to be small for a little while. I'm sure it'll be pretty disorienting for him.



With all my love,

Gilmore



P.S. A big thank you to Michael Harper, Kyle Sass, Alex Lucier, and Jared Gamble for cheering me up and letting me cry and holding me and loving me and letting me know that I have some of the most amazing friends anyone could ever have. I love you guys, even though I know you hate mushy sentimental crap. :)





R.I.P. Andy Krueger. 2/20/2012

Those Damn Young'uns...

Aloha, readers!

Alright, I've got a question for everyone... What in the hell happened to American music and dancing?!

Seriously. This has been bothering me since approximately my junior year in high school, and I'm going to give you an extensive list of the reasons why.

1) Maybe I'm just not "with the times," but do tell me, since when is a DJ playing canned music better than hiring a live band at clubs, school dances, etc.? Now, this is by no means meant to offend DJs who are actually good and mix their own tracks, and you know, DO SOMETHING besides occasionally hitting the spacebar while going through the top 40. I have a special place in my heart for electronica, dubstep, and techno, and can appreciate a sick beat just as much as, if not more than, the next guy. But come on, if someone gets paid 500+ dollars to sit there on their laptop hitting a freaking spacebar... They can gtfo. That requires no talent, and we don't need trash in the entertainment industry when there's true talent out there. Which brings me to my next point...

2) Why in the world is it not only ok, but almost encouraged, for the somewhat attractive, non-musically talented person to get a hit on the radio? I mean, really, there's entertainment value in Keh-dollarsign-hah and LMFAO and those like them, but COME ON. They don't even orchestrate their own music 99.9% of the time. Some other dude usually gets stuck writing the song, putting down the beat, and they take all the credit. Plus, their music is trashy and usually makes me feel like trash when I have to listen to it. Especially as a music major, it really bothers me that I'm surrounded by people who are just outrageously talented, practice forever, and I know that just because they play REAL music, they will never achieve the mainstream success that the aforementioned have. People may argue, "Well, they're good club hits because we can dance to them." I counter with:

3). Swing dancing. Salsa. Tango. Waltz. The Twist and everything from the 60's. A bajillion other things that I'm not mentioning. THAT is DANCING, people. Grinding is not actually dancing. At. All. It really does not require skill. And you know what else? Maybe America would be more willing to lose weight if, when they wanted to go out DANCING and have fun, they'd learn to do something as strenuous and physically demanding as, say, the jitterbug, because that certainly burns more calories than rubbing your body against someone else's body. Just saying.

4) I'm a bit biased as a saxophonist and jazz singer here, but I'm just going to throw this out there... Why do more people not listen to jazz? Aside from being aesthetically pleasing, it takes SKILL, is a very versatile genre, you can slow dance and swing dance to it, and is all around just freaking awesome. Why does Wynton Marsalis not get played in the top 40 vs. Taylor Swift? Seriously?! She literally writes every song about practically the same thing, using most of the same chord progressions, and, when she's feeling crazy, she might change the key. Whoop-de-freaking-doo. I could write a song similar to hers in less than 5 minutes, but will I? NO. Why? Because I have STANDARDS as a MUSICIAN, people. Music isn't just a means to get famous for me, as it SHOULDN'T be for those who truly love it. It's my PASSION. Not nearly enough artists these days write music for the love of music itself, they just produce and produce and produce more and more trash so they can become famous. Fame should NOT be the motivation behind anything, especially something as beautiful, profound, and moving as music can be.

5) Now, I'm not suggesting that all good music is complicated music. Far from it. Some of the best music uses simple harmonic structures and chord progressions, but can still be very profound. For example, Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." Lyrically, one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. "Let it Be," by the Beatles. Also, another lyrical beauty, and it uses only 4 chords. Anything by the composer Philip Glass. He pretty much started a new genre, minimalism, on his own, and his music is extremely contemplative and beautiful, but normally very simple. What sets these apart from, say, Taylor Swift? (If you can't tell, I hate her music, as well as Miley Cyrus' (gag) more than pretty much any artist out there, period.) I don't know, they're not either:
A) In Ms. Swift's case, just whining about problems or talking about my boyfriend.
B) In Miley's case, just plain stupid as hell. She sang Party in the USA without knowing who Jay-Z was, and for God's sake, if you're going to perform music, KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT. For all that is good and holy, don't desecrate this purest of artforms like that.
But the real reason that the examples I listed are better than these two popular leading ladies is this: Music is something that needs to be personal, and come from the heart. It is something that rises from inside of you, and can be powerful enough to burn down the world or raise it up in glory...

I'm sure Taylor was really feeling heartbroken when she was writing however many songs she wrote about the subject, but frankly, her emotions seem extremely petty and immature and that's why I hate her music, not because it isn't personal, but because the personality in her music just leaves much to be desired.

Ok, so, I've kind of gotten myself worked up here, not gonna lie, and am going to leave this and drink a cup of hot chocolate and forget about why the world is making me sad.

Today's song of the day, something I consider real music, is called Typhoon by Young the Giant. It's a beautifully crafted song, and it leaves something for music majors (glorious countermelodies and harmonies!) to enjoy, and for those of you who aren't, just a really really pretty song to listen to. By the way, you don't actually need to be a musician to enjoy most of the music I listen to, just someone who actually likes music.

Anyway, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2XjNZz19uw

Thanks for reading this rant, I hope it entertained you.

With love,
Gilmore

Potpourri.

Hello beautiful internet people!

So, it's been about a week and a half since my last post, and, to be honest, I haven't really been able to focus on anything lately. After a crazy weekend last weekend, and an even crazier night on Friday, it's high time that I start decompressing and getting my thoughts in order. In fact, my scatterbrained-ness has been showing in my composing. I've started about 6 new pieces of music, and I've written at least a page or two in all of them before finding no motivation to continue them or just throwing them away. This is kind of problematic, especially since I need to nail down what I'm doing for my semester project, keep working on my big band chart, finish a choral arrangement, write a trombone duet, and write about an hour of music for my filmscoring class this semester... Oh, and I still need to get last semester's project recorded. Yikes.

Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being a composition major and a composer and wouldn't trade it for the world... But no matter how far ahead I work in any class or get in any composition, I'm technically forever behind. Seriously. As a perfectionist and a person who hates procrastinating, this is stressing me out big time. I know that the rest of my life is probably going to be like this, but still... It's a bit crazy. Seriously though, I would much rather have this craziness than be bored doing something else, so, I guess I can't really complain... Except I just did. Whoops. My bad.

Other than my attention span apparently deciding to take a 2-week (hopefully not longer) vacation, my life has been pretty great. Nebrasketball won a fantastic game against Indiana by 1 point, and I got to be the lucky kid playing synthesizer when it happened, which is pretty awesome. All of my classes are relevant to what my future plans are, and most of them are not only relevant but really really fun. I'm busy, but a good kind of busy, because I realize that if I completely sucked at composing, people would probably not be asking me to write them things. Meaning, I'm at least somewhat competent, which makes me a happy camper because I can only get better thanks to the awesome professors and extremely talented people I get to call my friends helping me out along the way.

I keep thinking back to the word that my professor, Dr. Lee, used when we were talking about how I ended up at UNL: Serendipity. Which, for those of you who don't know, means a happy accident. I used to think that I would hate staying in Nebraska, because at the end of my senior year of high school, I really hated this state and the small-town feel of everything. I now realize that having gone to Hillsdale, though still a great opportunity, would have probably just given me the same problems in a different geographic location. This is a nice balance before I have to go out into the real world and make a living, and I know that this is probably going to be the smallest town I end up living in for the rest of my life. So, I intend to make the most of it, and am actually more than happy that I'm here.

A song that I think sums this up, and that I've been listening to a lot lately: We Are Young by Fun. Featuring Janelle Monae. This song is really great to harmonize to (coughcough fellow music majors coughcough), and is just catchy and awesome and fresh and cool, so you should listen to it and be happy. I'm not personally a Glee fan, but I hear tell that they covered this song, which is cool, because I love seeing not-so-mainstream bands like this one getting exposure like that. I've yet to hear the Glee version, but here is the original. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv6dMFF_yts

Thank you to those of you who actually read these, hopefully I get around to writing again before the month is out. But, if I don't, know that I'm really busy and regret not keeping you updated, but that the next post will be more juicy than this one if that's the case.

With love,
Gilmore

An Enormous Amount of Awesome.

Buongiorno, amici!

Well, it's nearing the end of the second day of my second semester in college. I'm rather excited for the rest of this one. Since I enjoy lists and thinking in lists and writing lists, here's a lovely numbered collection of all the reasons I'm thinking this will be a great semester.

1) I don't have to get up at 6am. Instead, I wake up at the much more reasonable hour of 7am, and this makes me very happy.

2) I'm taking filmscoring with 3 pretty cool dudes, and I have a pretty cool professor. Yeah, our class is only made of 4 people. So much win.

3) I'm taking Organismic Biology instead of AgriScience for my science class this semester, and this is actually something I'm interested in/pertains to my major.

4) My theory and aural skills classes are filled with some pretty fantastic people.

5) I'm playing synthesizer for Big Red Express, which is rather fun and I'm realizing is not something I should have been worried about.

6) I'm getting more than 2 hours of sleep a night (so far, knock on wood).

7) At some point this semester, I'll hopefully be singing with either the UNL jazz orchestra or Big Band. Which is definitely one of the most amazing, wonderful opportunities ever.

8) I got to pick the song/key of what I'm doing for 7), plus, I get to arrange it.

9) My professors all seem pretty awesome, some I've had before, and the new ones are pretty great, too.

10) I will actually have all the textbooks I need by Friday.

11) Jazz choir gets to travel this semester!

12) I (might) get to travel with Big Red Express this semester!

13) I (might) get to go to Chicago over spring break to watch The Black Keys in concert!

14) I'm getting progressively more excited as I type this list!

15) I have a crazy amount of fantastic opportunities as a musician here, and my biggest problem is having time to pursue all of them. I seriously feel limited only by how much work I put in, and not by other people or circumstances, and it's a fantastic feeling to have that I never had in Columbus.

16) There are seriously a lot more, but I don't think I have time to write it all.

So there you go, a list of why this semester is probably going to be my best semester of school to date. I'm extremely happy with my life right now. And, I also have wonderful friends and family who are the cream cheese frosting to my carrot cake of happiness.

The song of the day today is: Are You Gonna Be My Girl, by the band Jet. It's a rather old song, but a good one, and it's happy and makes me even happier. So here it is. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuK6n2Lkza0&ob=av3e

With love,
Gilmore

New Year. New Stories.

Hello readers!

Well, I didn't bring my laptop to Orlando, and I'm glad I didn't, because I really would NOT have had time to use it, plus, Wi-Fi at the hotel was apparently 10 extra dollars, anyway.

So, I'm going to tell you the events of my (All expenses paid, oh thank you UNL and the Capital One Bowl) trip to Orlando.

Day 1. Arrival.

Well, our flight left Lincoln at 3am CST, and we arrived in Orlando at approximately 11 EST. We went from the runway to a charter bus, and immediately to rehearsal from there. Rehearsal lasted a few hours, then we went back to the hotel, and had the rest of the day to ourselves. I opted for a pretty low-key night (I hadn't slept since the night before), and hung out with some friends, exploring the area around the DoubleTree Hotel near SeaWorld, getting milkshakes, and eating in this awesome little pizzeria across the street from the hotel. After that, we explored the hotel itself, which had 3 outdoor pools, an indoor pool, and a Jacuzzi... And did some karaoke with another friend. My on-the-fly harmonies will eventually be found on my friend Josh's Facebook.

Day 2. Parade. Universal Studios.

Well, that title was pretty much my day. But here are some details.

The Parade:
Long. Hot. Sweaty. Boring.
These 4 words sum it up the best, but seriously, it was kind of grueling. The Florida heat and humidity didn't help, and it we played the whole time and stopped pretty much every 30 feet for almost 2 miles. Not the most enjoyable experience of my life. Also, there wasn't really water for us after the parade, which sucked. Thankfully, I'd forgotten my water bottle on the bus the night before so I shared that with a few section members to tide us over until we got back to the hotel. After a nice, quick shower, we headed to...

Universal Studios!

Amazing. Fantastic. Wonderful. Thrilling.
Yup, these 4 words sum it up best.
Seriously, I had an amazing time. After a quick performance in our band polos (instead of full uniform, thank God), we embarked on a wonderful journey through the entirety of the Universal Studios park. My group, which consisted of 3 guys named John, Josh, and Cory (and me. Duh.), had a fantastic time riding all the rides and seeing all the sights that were to be seen. My two favorites had to be the pharaoh rollercoaster where the ceiling lit on fire (way cool), and the Rock it, a rollercoaster that was rather fast and rather fun, where Josh and I got to sit in the front row both times with our arms up.
We spent the magic midnight moment in the park, and went to get our stuff... To discover our stuff was gone. Turns out we couldn't get the locker open because the electronic lockers didn't register that we put our stuff in in the first place, and it was all still locked... So... Yeah. We were about 5 minutes late for the busses. But hey, we got all our stuff back, so that's all that matters.

Day 3: Practice. Pep rally. Universal Studios part 2.

So yeah, we had to wake up rather early the next morning after getting back to the hotel circa 1am or later... And after another 4 hour rehearsal, I took a nap, and played a pep rally in full uniform with the band (it was a rather uneventful pep rally.). After said pep rally, we went back to the hotel, showered, and my friends from the night before, plus my good friend Harper (that's his last name. We don't call him by his first name.) went to Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. This park had separate admission, and we were only there for about 2 hours and 15 minutes. But it was a rather magical 2 hours and 15 minutes. See, the great thing was, when we were getting there, almost everyone was leaving since the park closed at 10pm. So, we went to guest services, they gave us a 25% discount from the admission price, and we went into the park to experience only 5-15 minute waits on almost every ride. Which was so super fantastic. Plus, Harry Potter world at night is WAY FREAKING COOL. Seriously. We were able to explore most of Harry Potter world, go on the Hogwarts castle tour/rollercoaster, the Dueling Dragons rollercoaster, enjoy a ButterBeer, and buy pumpkin juice (which Harper and I brought home and still need to drink.). We also got to go on The Hulk (The biggest, best rollercoaster in the whole park) two times in a row. I also got a chocolate frog, which I still need to eat. Very very worth the money and the time. We took a cab back to the hotel, and went to Village Inn for a late dinner afterwards. That was definitely a fantastic night.

Day 4: Pep rally pep rally pep rally. Foo'ball foo'ball foo'ball. Gameday gameday gameday. HOME.
This was our last day in Orlando... I really wasn't ready for the trip to be over until it was, because I came home extremely exhausted.

We played a few pep rallies before the game started, were herded into the stadium, and marched a very condensed version of our pregame. The game was kind of sad, we really shouldn't have lost as badly as we did, but oh well. The halftime show went well, and the band played well, so at least it isn't a reflection on me personally. After the slightly disappointing game, we went straight to the airport, and waited around for about 4 hours, then finally went home. Not a whole lot of interesting things to report about the flight, it was pretty average. I talked to my friend Michael for awhile on the plane, then we both passed out until we got back to Lincoln. From there, my mom picked me up after I (FINALLY) got my luggage, then I went back to Columbus. I left C-town on the 4th around 3pm, and now I'm finally back in Lincoln in my dorm again. I missed hanging out here in Lincoln, I really feel at home here, and am ready for next semester and all its stress to start... Because I'm a bit crazy like that.

So there you have it, my days in Orlando, and a rather fantastic end to my marching band career. I'm going to miss marching band during gamedays and during the bowl trip next year, but what I didn't realize is that marching band isn't just an activity in college.... It's a lifestyle. And I can't lead a marching band lifestyle and a double major lifestyle next year without killing myself from stress and overwork, so this will have to be my last year. I've made some amazing friends throughout though, and I'm definitely going to miss it, but I'm also glad it's over. This was probably the best way to end my band career, and I ended it with some pretty great people. Thanks for everything, Cornhusker Marching Band, this year meant so much more to me than all 4 years of high school band did put together. Even though you had less time to make an impression than my high school years did, you sure made a hell of one on me, and I feel I’ve gained a lot more from it. I’m so glad I got to have this experience while I was able to fit it in my schedule. You guys will always hold a very special place in my heart.

With love,
Gilmore

P.S. Today's song of the day is called Lonely Boy by The Black Keys. It's from their newest album, El Camino. Still blues-rock, but so gritty that it's the listening equivalent of chewing on a dirt road. In other words, absolute fantastic-ness. I've been obsessed with this band for awhile now, and their quality of music has been amazing from their first album, and keeps outdoing itself with every new release. I love them a lot, and after watching this guy dance to this song (yeah, all they have for their current music video is this random guy dancing. It's all ya need.), you'll probably be in love with them, too.
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_426RiwST8